Okokokokok....
So where were we? Work's still work. My commission is going up as I do more. The more I do the more comfortable I feel. But I still have a looooong way to go. I miss having a camera; mine died so I'm looking to get a new one eventually. I want an SLR but those are not cheap. I might spring for one after Thanksgiving and do the whole "investment" thing. Because if I stay in this field I have to start investing in the proper equipment. And starting at some point I wanna take classes too. But why must things require money?!?!?!? Cuz I also am going to need a new computer soon and am reeeeeelly wanting to go to India over Easter (to meet up with Jess and Holly and Lisa Walker from Korea). Meh, the Lord'll provide if I'm supposed to get/do these things.
Um, other things...I've got a place to live! I'm moving in this week with a girl from church. Stephanie is the same age as I am and is an engeneer. She works with the teens and I'm actually hoping to start working with them eventually myself.
I've decided to give away my cat. Right now I'm too "unsettled" to have an animal and if something were to happen to him and he'd need some kind of medical help I could not afford to take care of him. Practically, pragmatically, now's just not the time. I'm good with that decision, really. I've found a shelter that I want to take him but it's like an hour away they have hours that don't line up with my hours at the studio. I'm hoping to take him next week on my day off.
It's getting nice and cool and fall-y here! Yay! I love this time of year...if only I had a camera to take pics of it...
Thats all for now.
Showing posts with label Thoughts. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Thoughts. Show all posts
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Friday, September 11, 2009
Woa
I thought about posting this as "It's a small world after all" but I think we are past that. I leave it for you to decide.
So a few weeks back a new girl was hired at the photo studio. While she was in the process of being hired (they were having her do a shoot) it was found out that she had spent time in Canada. We did the whole "Cool! Where?" thing and discovered that we had both lived in the same town but did not make much of it because it had been some time back for both of us and she had mentioned that she had not lived there for too long, nor did we really have time to dig deeper.
Until today.
It started when we were talking about college and it was discovered that she knew someone who had gone to BJU and I knew the girl too (more as a passing acquaintance). That's the "it's a small world" part.
BUT
From there we decided to dig unto out Canadian past. The conversation went something like this (I am taking a few liberties in the process);
Me: "How old were you when you were in Canada?"
Jen: "Ummm....5th grade."
Me: "Where did you go to school? [starts naming some of the schools finally naming.....]...Prince Andrew?"
Jen: "Yeh! Prince Andrew!"
Me: "Me too!!"
[insert look of "crazy!"]
Me: "When were you born?"
Jen: "'86"
[Some quick mental math reveals that she and I were at Prince Andrew at the same time, only when she was in grade 5 I was in grade 8].
Me: "Thats so funny!! Where did you live?"
Jen: I dunno, a subdivision with a big park in the middle of it."
Me: "Me too!!"
[insert another look, then I google my old neighborhood]
Me: "I lived here. In Heritage Park."
Jen: "I lived here! [points to the main street of the same subdivision.] And my pastor lived over....here... [points to my street].
[another look]
Me: Where'd you go to church?"
Jen: "I can't remember, but the pastors son had something wrong with him."
Me: "My little brother is in a wheelchair."
[another look]
Me: "Emmanuel Baptist Church?"
Jen: "I can't remember."
There was a little more conversation where both of us were like..."Ummm...woa." Then I had to leave, as I did I called my mum and told her about Jen. I told her what I had learned and mum remembered them, as did Dad when I called him.
So, yeh, I work with a girl who went to church with me in Canada for eight months more than ten years ago.
Some say coincidence; I say God. Either way: "Woa."
So a few weeks back a new girl was hired at the photo studio. While she was in the process of being hired (they were having her do a shoot) it was found out that she had spent time in Canada. We did the whole "Cool! Where?" thing and discovered that we had both lived in the same town but did not make much of it because it had been some time back for both of us and she had mentioned that she had not lived there for too long, nor did we really have time to dig deeper.
Until today.
It started when we were talking about college and it was discovered that she knew someone who had gone to BJU and I knew the girl too (more as a passing acquaintance). That's the "it's a small world" part.
BUT
From there we decided to dig unto out Canadian past. The conversation went something like this (I am taking a few liberties in the process);
Me: "How old were you when you were in Canada?"
Jen: "Ummm....5th grade."
Me: "Where did you go to school? [starts naming some of the schools finally naming.....]...Prince Andrew?"
Jen: "Yeh! Prince Andrew!"
Me: "Me too!!"
[insert look of "crazy!"]
Me: "When were you born?"
Jen: "'86"
[Some quick mental math reveals that she and I were at Prince Andrew at the same time, only when she was in grade 5 I was in grade 8].
Me: "Thats so funny!! Where did you live?"
Jen: I dunno, a subdivision with a big park in the middle of it."
Me: "Me too!!"
[insert another look, then I google my old neighborhood]
Me: "I lived here. In Heritage Park."
Jen: "I lived here! [points to the main street of the same subdivision.] And my pastor lived over....here... [points to my street].
[another look]
Me: Where'd you go to church?"
Jen: "I can't remember, but the pastors son had something wrong with him."
Me: "My little brother is in a wheelchair."
[another look]
Me: "Emmanuel Baptist Church?"
Jen: "I can't remember."
There was a little more conversation where both of us were like..."Ummm...woa." Then I had to leave, as I did I called my mum and told her about Jen. I told her what I had learned and mum remembered them, as did Dad when I called him.
So, yeh, I work with a girl who went to church with me in Canada for eight months more than ten years ago.
Some say coincidence; I say God. Either way: "Woa."
Thursday, August 27, 2009
A Little Bit of This, A Little Bit of That
I shall again forgo the apology.
Life has been kinda busy but not as busy I might think it is. I've been working mostly evenings which is nice but I am not the most motivated of people when it comes to getting things done in the mornings then going to work later. I spend too much time online usually. Incidentally, I work today at 4 and it is now 11:30 and I've only taken my shower and done my hair. I'm sitting here in my t-shirt just chilling. I've been up since 8. However, yesterday, I worked from 10-4 and was up at 7 and got my room cleaned before going to work. I came back and fixed some broken jewelry. More than I might get done today. Tho I am planning on tossing a load of laundry in the washer after I post. Ok....rambling done now. Even tho I do waste time I still am doing other things; last Saturday for instance my church had a free car wash in the morning and I was there until I had to go to work. I go to Rebecca and Bill's about every other week for dinner (and to see my cat), and on my days off I run errands and apply for jobs. And on occasion get together with people from church. Friday some of us are going out for Korean. Which is another thing I need to to....find a Korean restaurant for Friday.
Wow...I have a life! I find I enjoy having one. But I do miss Holly and Jessica and my students.
Speaking of Korea; it's inservice this week at SCS and I've been talking to Holly and Jessica when I or they can. They are busy. But "hearing" them talk via IM... I don't miss it. I'm not sad that I'm not there. I only would go to see my kids and to hang out with Holly and Jess. That's it. I don't miss feeling judged, or feeling like I'm not the "right" kind of Christian, or being looked at strangely because I do things differently or think differently than the prescribed manner. I can' wear my odd pants here and not get made fun of. I can have my terrible blond moments (I don't have them often but when I do I do them right) and not get mocked for them for the next week. I get mocked for a day and that's it (I really don't mind being made fun of, just find another joke, really) . I can talk to a guy as an equal.
There's a "movement" if you will where people my age who were raised "Fundamentalist" are leaving it's camps. Now, I don't get into all that, I'm not even sure what it is. I just know that for much of the last eight years (college and Korea) I've been in something that holds itself to be "Fundamentalist". Of course, I grew up in a "Fundamentalist" background, but it was so. very. different. Certain of the more visible nature who are amongst the more sane ones are wondering why people my age are leaving in droves. Sadly, the type of Fundyism I grew up in is hard to find so many people are leaving the more [can't think of a good adjective.... maybe stupid?] kind. People are tired of being told that they are not "good Christians" (not in so many words but really, that's what's going on) because they dress funny, have a "worldly" hairstyle, listen to the "wrong" music or do any number of things. I have so many friends who have left the movement because they are tired of it and want to be accepted on the merits of Christ and His work on the Cross and on what they do for the Kingdom and not based on things that just. don't. matter. For a while I too was wondering why they were leaving. But now that I am where I am (spiritually, physically, emotionally, in every way), I can see where those who are leaving are coming from. I'm not saying I'm leaving, I'm not saying I'm staying. As before mentioned, I'm not even sure what the point is. However, I do see both sides now. Quite clearly. And both have pros and cons. But is that whole "Fundamentalism" debate really worth it? It just causes Christians to fight and bicker amongst themselves.
Where was I going with this? I'm not really sure, I just know that now, I'm back in a similar type of situation I grew up in; I'm accepted for who I am, I am loved for who I am, I don't feel like I have to keep looking over my shoulder to make sure I am being "good". The focus is not outward anymore.
OKokok, enough of that. On to other things.
I'm still at the photo studio and really do enjoy it. I had a strong lead to work at the Macaroni Grill here but they said no as far as serving but they want me to call in September and they should have a hostessing job for me then. I'd love to get it; I worked at a Mac. Grill in high school and really loved it. I was a hostess/singer and that's what they are interested in having me do at the one here. I am looking for other jobs too tho, you never know what God has. I'm also beginning to look for places to live. I've found one that might work but I really would need that second job. It's about 20 min from the mall where I am currently working and is less than $700/mo with most utilities included. It's still a tad expensive but I should be able to swing it. I'm going to keep looking for other places too. A roommate would really be ideal, I could maybe find a place and once everything is split have rent and stuff be about $500/mo. But roommates don't fall outta the sky. I have about a month tho so again; we'll see what God has in mind.
If/when I settle here I am planning on volunteering with the USO in the area. I've always had a love and respect for the men and women who serve and being able to serve them would be awesome. Eventually I'd love to even do a benefit concert for the USO. I was thinking about starting to plan for one for this year but since I'm still not completely sure I'll be settling here I decided to wait a bit. But if I'm here, next year for sure.
Ok, that's it for now. Laundry time!!
Life has been kinda busy but not as busy I might think it is. I've been working mostly evenings which is nice but I am not the most motivated of people when it comes to getting things done in the mornings then going to work later. I spend too much time online usually. Incidentally, I work today at 4 and it is now 11:30 and I've only taken my shower and done my hair. I'm sitting here in my t-shirt just chilling. I've been up since 8. However, yesterday, I worked from 10-4 and was up at 7 and got my room cleaned before going to work. I came back and fixed some broken jewelry. More than I might get done today. Tho I am planning on tossing a load of laundry in the washer after I post. Ok....rambling done now. Even tho I do waste time I still am doing other things; last Saturday for instance my church had a free car wash in the morning and I was there until I had to go to work. I go to Rebecca and Bill's about every other week for dinner (and to see my cat), and on my days off I run errands and apply for jobs. And on occasion get together with people from church. Friday some of us are going out for Korean. Which is another thing I need to to....find a Korean restaurant for Friday.
Wow...I have a life! I find I enjoy having one. But I do miss Holly and Jessica and my students.
Speaking of Korea; it's inservice this week at SCS and I've been talking to Holly and Jessica when I or they can. They are busy. But "hearing" them talk via IM... I don't miss it. I'm not sad that I'm not there. I only would go to see my kids and to hang out with Holly and Jess. That's it. I don't miss feeling judged, or feeling like I'm not the "right" kind of Christian, or being looked at strangely because I do things differently or think differently than the prescribed manner. I can' wear my odd pants here and not get made fun of. I can have my terrible blond moments (I don't have them often but when I do I do them right) and not get mocked for them for the next week. I get mocked for a day and that's it (I really don't mind being made fun of, just find another joke, really) . I can talk to a guy as an equal.
There's a "movement" if you will where people my age who were raised "Fundamentalist" are leaving it's camps. Now, I don't get into all that, I'm not even sure what it is. I just know that for much of the last eight years (college and Korea) I've been in something that holds itself to be "Fundamentalist". Of course, I grew up in a "Fundamentalist" background, but it was so. very. different. Certain of the more visible nature who are amongst the more sane ones are wondering why people my age are leaving in droves. Sadly, the type of Fundyism I grew up in is hard to find so many people are leaving the more [can't think of a good adjective.... maybe stupid?] kind. People are tired of being told that they are not "good Christians" (not in so many words but really, that's what's going on) because they dress funny, have a "worldly" hairstyle, listen to the "wrong" music or do any number of things. I have so many friends who have left the movement because they are tired of it and want to be accepted on the merits of Christ and His work on the Cross and on what they do for the Kingdom and not based on things that just. don't. matter. For a while I too was wondering why they were leaving. But now that I am where I am (spiritually, physically, emotionally, in every way), I can see where those who are leaving are coming from. I'm not saying I'm leaving, I'm not saying I'm staying. As before mentioned, I'm not even sure what the point is. However, I do see both sides now. Quite clearly. And both have pros and cons. But is that whole "Fundamentalism" debate really worth it? It just causes Christians to fight and bicker amongst themselves.
Where was I going with this? I'm not really sure, I just know that now, I'm back in a similar type of situation I grew up in; I'm accepted for who I am, I am loved for who I am, I don't feel like I have to keep looking over my shoulder to make sure I am being "good". The focus is not outward anymore.
OKokok, enough of that. On to other things.
I'm still at the photo studio and really do enjoy it. I had a strong lead to work at the Macaroni Grill here but they said no as far as serving but they want me to call in September and they should have a hostessing job for me then. I'd love to get it; I worked at a Mac. Grill in high school and really loved it. I was a hostess/singer and that's what they are interested in having me do at the one here. I am looking for other jobs too tho, you never know what God has. I'm also beginning to look for places to live. I've found one that might work but I really would need that second job. It's about 20 min from the mall where I am currently working and is less than $700/mo with most utilities included. It's still a tad expensive but I should be able to swing it. I'm going to keep looking for other places too. A roommate would really be ideal, I could maybe find a place and once everything is split have rent and stuff be about $500/mo. But roommates don't fall outta the sky. I have about a month tho so again; we'll see what God has in mind.
If/when I settle here I am planning on volunteering with the USO in the area. I've always had a love and respect for the men and women who serve and being able to serve them would be awesome. Eventually I'd love to even do a benefit concert for the USO. I was thinking about starting to plan for one for this year but since I'm still not completely sure I'll be settling here I decided to wait a bit. But if I'm here, next year for sure.
Ok, that's it for now. Laundry time!!
Friday, August 07, 2009
Happiness is...
I've always considered myself a happy person, and really I am. But lately I've realized that right now I am the happiest I've ever been. I'll be driving around and realize that all those stupid metaphors about being so happy you could explode are indeed true! I thought I was happy in Korea, and I was really, happy in that I had some amazing friends and students whom I loved. Happy knowing that I was where God wanted me. But now...here...it's difficult to explain.
I have friends here; new and old. I have a job I mostly love (it has it's moments of frustration but I do enjoy it about 95% of the time). My amazing church. I am always so excited for Sundays; can't wait for them. This weekend I'm in MN hanging out with Joshua while Mum and Dad are away for their anniversary and as I was driving here and realizing I'd be missing Sunday at SVPC I almost wanted to cry. The past several years I've had to force myself to go to church. But now I hate missing it and hate being late and missing the dear sweet fellowship time and the Gospel and Grace-filled preaching and teaching. Last week was communion at SVPC and they asked me to fill in for someone in the Praise and Worship team and I truly felt like I was ministering and worshiping while I was singing. Up till now, no matter the church I've been in I've felt like a seal on display while I was singing and also felt like I was "supposed" to sing. Like people expected me to do it. Last week it was like...like I was worshipping. Like I really was using my talents for God. I did not feel on display at all. It was God who was the focus, not me. Oddly enough I've never been given more compliments about my voice than I have here. Every week at least three people come say something to me. Sometimes more. But again, I don't feel strange saying "God gave me my voice, I'm just giving it back to Him." usually I felt really really strange saying it, like it was fake or something.
But I'm just...happy. About to explode happy. I get the sense that I'm where God wants me to be. He's not done with me yet (I am still living afterall). But He's got me in a great place. I'm in an area I've wanted to live in for a good ten-plus years. I've got a great church. I have great friends near (and far...) and I am living with wonderful people and I have a mostly ok job. I also have a job interview at Macaroni Grill on Wednesday after getting back from MN. They are hiring servers and hostesses and I said I'd do both if it got me more hours. It is to be hoped that I get that job.
What is the verse? "Every good and perceft gift comes from God"? (Joanna paraphrase). I've told my students for the past three years (and I remember the realization when I had it); as a Christian if it comes, it's from God, or at least ordained by Him. So no matter what it is; getting fired from a job, not knowing where you are going to live, getting a place to live rent-free for two months, getting a job with in five days of moving to a new area...finding an amazing Church. It's all from God. So I can't complain. Was I happy in Korea? Yes. But I really and truly am happier here than I've ever been in my life. Things really can only get better ya know?
Those of you who've been praying, thank you so very much! And please keep it up! There are still things to get figured out but He does everything in His time. So you'll hear no complaints from me.
I have friends here; new and old. I have a job I mostly love (it has it's moments of frustration but I do enjoy it about 95% of the time). My amazing church. I am always so excited for Sundays; can't wait for them. This weekend I'm in MN hanging out with Joshua while Mum and Dad are away for their anniversary and as I was driving here and realizing I'd be missing Sunday at SVPC I almost wanted to cry. The past several years I've had to force myself to go to church. But now I hate missing it and hate being late and missing the dear sweet fellowship time and the Gospel and Grace-filled preaching and teaching. Last week was communion at SVPC and they asked me to fill in for someone in the Praise and Worship team and I truly felt like I was ministering and worshiping while I was singing. Up till now, no matter the church I've been in I've felt like a seal on display while I was singing and also felt like I was "supposed" to sing. Like people expected me to do it. Last week it was like...like I was worshipping. Like I really was using my talents for God. I did not feel on display at all. It was God who was the focus, not me. Oddly enough I've never been given more compliments about my voice than I have here. Every week at least three people come say something to me. Sometimes more. But again, I don't feel strange saying "God gave me my voice, I'm just giving it back to Him." usually I felt really really strange saying it, like it was fake or something.
But I'm just...happy. About to explode happy. I get the sense that I'm where God wants me to be. He's not done with me yet (I am still living afterall). But He's got me in a great place. I'm in an area I've wanted to live in for a good ten-plus years. I've got a great church. I have great friends near (and far...) and I am living with wonderful people and I have a mostly ok job. I also have a job interview at Macaroni Grill on Wednesday after getting back from MN. They are hiring servers and hostesses and I said I'd do both if it got me more hours. It is to be hoped that I get that job.
What is the verse? "Every good and perceft gift comes from God"? (Joanna paraphrase). I've told my students for the past three years (and I remember the realization when I had it); as a Christian if it comes, it's from God, or at least ordained by Him. So no matter what it is; getting fired from a job, not knowing where you are going to live, getting a place to live rent-free for two months, getting a job with in five days of moving to a new area...finding an amazing Church. It's all from God. So I can't complain. Was I happy in Korea? Yes. But I really and truly am happier here than I've ever been in my life. Things really can only get better ya know?
Those of you who've been praying, thank you so very much! And please keep it up! There are still things to get figured out but He does everything in His time. So you'll hear no complaints from me.
Saturday, August 01, 2009
Provisions
So I'm not even going to apologize for not really posting lately cuz "real" posts are so few and far between I am starting to begin all of 'em with an apology so we'll just get right into it 'k?
Work is still pretty cool. I am still looking for other jobs (second job or a full time one) but so far nothing. My sales are going up and I feel like I'm getting better at the photography part too. I actually had my first repeat customer a while back. I had gotten some girls (two sisters and a friend) to come in so I could practice on them. They did not get anything then but the next day the friend came back with her mom and sister! She made them come from an hour away to get "real" pictures done. Then they spent about $400. Made me happy. I've had a few other good shoots and sales lately but none that come as immediately to mind. I did however do a shoot for a lady who was graduating from some random Bible College with a masters in Urban Ministry. We got to talking and she was so sweet! During the whole conversation she'd interject with "Praise Jesus" and "I call on Jesus power to be with you." (She was black). At the end (after I had told her my story of Korea and getting here etc.) she said "I wanna plant a seed and you have to let me ok?" I wasn't really sure what she was going to do and was half expecting her to give me a mustard seed or something. But she didn't; she gave me $120!! Made me cry. When I told her I could not accept it she insisted that I keep it. "This morning I was at the health club and it was just me and God and I asked Him to let me be a blessing to someone today. I almost did not come to get my pictures done but something told me to come and I think you are the answer to my prayer." Other people have been generous and given me money too (cheques in the mail etc). God's providing.
Another way God's provided is through housing. I had a place to stay through the end of the month of July (Rebecca had gotten married and her lease on her apartment was out at the end of the month she said I could stay there rent free!). I've been attending an a.ma.zing. church (more on them in a second) and a couple in the church knowing that I was looking for a place to live offered me a place to stay with them for the time being. Again, free. So I'll be living with the Kraays until about October. Sadly I can't have Mac with me as David Kraay is allergic to cats but Rebecca and Bill offered to take him, so again, God is providing. According to Rebecca he's made himself right at home. He knew Rebecca because of living with her that week or so before the wedding and knew her cats. Apparently he's starting to warm up to Bill.
Ok. Church. This church is so amazing it almost warrants a seperate post...but I shall just put it with this one and make this a nice long juicy post. (=
I've been going to Rebecca's church in Schaumberg. It's a PCA church and such a wonderful body of believers. I've not been to a church like this in ages. I'm pretty sure Shiloh (the church my family attended in Georgia) was like this but when you're a teen nothing much like this sticks ya know? I attended two churches in Greenville; one for three years and one for two and the preaching was good but that was it. Fourth in Minnesota is an interesting situation; it's huge and I've not even gone a years worth of Sundays. I'd go and stuff when I'm visiting my parents but never felt connected. When I got back from Korea and was trying to figure out what to do next no one was helpful beyond the very unhelpful "Praying for you" pat on the head and send me on my way. A lot of times I felt like people would talk to me out of "duty" if that makes any sense. Um, hello I've just moved back across the globe, and have no job. Prayer is nice but do you know of any job leads?
But this church....wow...again...wow. My first Sunday there I had a few people come up to me to tell me that they recognized me from Rebecca's Facebook and they had wanted to meet me. Then others would just come up to me and welcome me to the church and want to know how I got there and all sorts of things about me. One couple told me that most of the church would go out for lunch after the service and that they hoped that I would join them. Pretty sure in that one service I was made more welcome than I was in 3 weeks of attending my parents church in MN and Fourth knows me. Only like five people in this church had any idea of who I was yet they still made me feel loved and welcomed. The next week I was there again and was talking to the ones that I had met and mentioned that I had gotten the photography job. A man was walking by (whom I had not yet met) and said "Oh! You got that job! Good, I was praying for you!" Several were like "You need another job? I know [of these places that are] hiring." Others said that they were looking into different places for me to live (this was before the Kraays offered me a place). Over and over again this church has shown that they live their Christianity. They are not at all just "Sunday Christians". Their lives are overflowinf with Grace and they can't wait to share it. The preaching is good too tho I've yet to hear the Sr. Pastor (he's on Sabbatical until the begining of August.). The pastor I have heard is excellent, very expository which is what I'm used to from Dad. The sermon last week was so encouraging; out of Daniel 12 and how the tough times we'll go through have a reason and an end and how that as Chrisitans we don't need to worry when we do go through those tough times.
Ok....that's long enough for now. I gotta make dinner.
Work is still pretty cool. I am still looking for other jobs (second job or a full time one) but so far nothing. My sales are going up and I feel like I'm getting better at the photography part too. I actually had my first repeat customer a while back. I had gotten some girls (two sisters and a friend) to come in so I could practice on them. They did not get anything then but the next day the friend came back with her mom and sister! She made them come from an hour away to get "real" pictures done. Then they spent about $400. Made me happy. I've had a few other good shoots and sales lately but none that come as immediately to mind. I did however do a shoot for a lady who was graduating from some random Bible College with a masters in Urban Ministry. We got to talking and she was so sweet! During the whole conversation she'd interject with "Praise Jesus" and "I call on Jesus power to be with you." (She was black). At the end (after I had told her my story of Korea and getting here etc.) she said "I wanna plant a seed and you have to let me ok?" I wasn't really sure what she was going to do and was half expecting her to give me a mustard seed or something. But she didn't; she gave me $120!! Made me cry. When I told her I could not accept it she insisted that I keep it. "This morning I was at the health club and it was just me and God and I asked Him to let me be a blessing to someone today. I almost did not come to get my pictures done but something told me to come and I think you are the answer to my prayer." Other people have been generous and given me money too (cheques in the mail etc). God's providing.
Another way God's provided is through housing. I had a place to stay through the end of the month of July (Rebecca had gotten married and her lease on her apartment was out at the end of the month she said I could stay there rent free!). I've been attending an a.ma.zing. church (more on them in a second) and a couple in the church knowing that I was looking for a place to live offered me a place to stay with them for the time being. Again, free. So I'll be living with the Kraays until about October. Sadly I can't have Mac with me as David Kraay is allergic to cats but Rebecca and Bill offered to take him, so again, God is providing. According to Rebecca he's made himself right at home. He knew Rebecca because of living with her that week or so before the wedding and knew her cats. Apparently he's starting to warm up to Bill.
Ok. Church. This church is so amazing it almost warrants a seperate post...but I shall just put it with this one and make this a nice long juicy post. (=
I've been going to Rebecca's church in Schaumberg. It's a PCA church and such a wonderful body of believers. I've not been to a church like this in ages. I'm pretty sure Shiloh (the church my family attended in Georgia) was like this but when you're a teen nothing much like this sticks ya know? I attended two churches in Greenville; one for three years and one for two and the preaching was good but that was it. Fourth in Minnesota is an interesting situation; it's huge and I've not even gone a years worth of Sundays. I'd go and stuff when I'm visiting my parents but never felt connected. When I got back from Korea and was trying to figure out what to do next no one was helpful beyond the very unhelpful "Praying for you" pat on the head and send me on my way. A lot of times I felt like people would talk to me out of "duty" if that makes any sense. Um, hello I've just moved back across the globe, and have no job. Prayer is nice but do you know of any job leads?
But this church....wow...again...wow. My first Sunday there I had a few people come up to me to tell me that they recognized me from Rebecca's Facebook and they had wanted to meet me. Then others would just come up to me and welcome me to the church and want to know how I got there and all sorts of things about me. One couple told me that most of the church would go out for lunch after the service and that they hoped that I would join them. Pretty sure in that one service I was made more welcome than I was in 3 weeks of attending my parents church in MN and Fourth knows me. Only like five people in this church had any idea of who I was yet they still made me feel loved and welcomed. The next week I was there again and was talking to the ones that I had met and mentioned that I had gotten the photography job. A man was walking by (whom I had not yet met) and said "Oh! You got that job! Good, I was praying for you!" Several were like "You need another job? I know [of these places that are] hiring." Others said that they were looking into different places for me to live (this was before the Kraays offered me a place). Over and over again this church has shown that they live their Christianity. They are not at all just "Sunday Christians". Their lives are overflowinf with Grace and they can't wait to share it. The preaching is good too tho I've yet to hear the Sr. Pastor (he's on Sabbatical until the begining of August.). The pastor I have heard is excellent, very expository which is what I'm used to from Dad. The sermon last week was so encouraging; out of Daniel 12 and how the tough times we'll go through have a reason and an end and how that as Chrisitans we don't need to worry when we do go through those tough times.
Ok....that's long enough for now. I gotta make dinner.
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
Letter
So I've not posted on here, sorry, things have been overwhelming and busy. Um, I'm gonna post this "letter" I wrote God on here, mostly to let you know how to pray for me. I'm really uncomfortable communicating like this at any time but I really need prayer so I'm putting this out anyway. So, um, here goes. I hope I don't regret this.
Dear God,
Dear God,
So obviously my life is overwhelming and scary right now. I essentially get fired from my job that was doing a pretty good job of getting me through life and stuff and have to come back here and start all over again. With nothing. Or very little. Very very little. But for some reason you’ve planned this. For lack of a better idea I’m here, where I’ve dreamed of living. And you’ve provided me with a job and an amazing church. And even a place to live till the end of the month. Free even. I kinda feel like you’ve cracked open the door but that it’s not entirely opened. Will it open completely? When? Where does it lead? I feel like the future is one big question mark. I have no marketable skill and, honestly, no marital prospects. I feel like I’m going no where. Not that I wanna get married NOW necessarily, just that whole stability thing. I’ve moved in some form or another every year for the last ten years and more than twenty times in my whole life. I have no roots or connections or whatever. To move to one place and stay there, for even two years would be so nice! Am I really relying on you for this? I feel like you’re doing this to stretch my faith. GREAT!! Is it stretched enough yet? Am I supposed to be relying on you for this? I mean, I know I am but I wish I had someone to talk to about. Really talk to. People who will just listen and not try to encourage. I’m sure I have people but I don’t like feeling like a burden on people when I talk to them. I don’t wanna just complain all the time. Because that’s what I feel like I’m doing. I know money doesn’t make things better but $5,000 would be great right now. Just to pay off P&H. $10,000 would be better, enough to get settled on after paying off my debt.
I’m thankful for what you’ve done for me so far; car, place here (for now), an amazing church with amazing people (I’ve never met such wonderful, kind hearted, genuinely interested and concerned and caring people.), a job that gets me some money and hours. Which is a start, but you know more than anyone else that it’s barely a start. It’s going to take me until August to earn even $2000. Which I earned in a month in
I know I’d love living here if you allow me to settle here. You know I’ve wanted to live here for years. But I’m willing to go elsewhere if that’s what you want. I just need you to let me know so I can do it. I know that you are doing this to bring you glory and to make me a better child of yours, it’s just kind of overwhelming and confusing right now. I know that just being here is something I don’t deserve but then I don’t even deserve salvation and anything you give me is something amazing. But it doesn’t make the interim less scary.
Thanks for what you’ve done, what you will do. I do believe, help my unbelief. Help me to rely on you and not get overwhelmed or depressed by focusing on myself. Whenever I start looking for other jobs or places to live I just wanna cry because I don’t see how it can happen. But that’s selling you short. You can do some pretty amazing things and you have. I just need to keep relying on you and not focusing on myself. Forgive me for selling you short and not relying on you.
Thanks for loving me, even when I sin. And I do so very often.
Thursday, June 11, 2009
Close My Eyes and Leap
So. I'm back in the US. And more than completely overwhelmed. After much thinking and not enough praying (never enough really) this is what I think is going to happen:
Hopefully, by this time in two weeks I'll be in Chicago. Looking online is not the way to get a job if you ask me, It's overwhelming and more than a little depressing.
For as long as I can remember I've wanted to live in Chicago. I have no idea why. A friend who lives in one of the 'burbs of Chicago is allowing me to sleep on her couch while I job hunt. I'm thinking I'm going to do a temp agency thing and see where that leads. The plan is to buy a car, load it up and drive to Chicago whereupon I will begin searching. If, after a bit, it seems to be not working out I will head to Greenville and do the same thing there. I'm going in order of desirability of living locations.
So, please pray with me that God will open some doors. I'm kinda excited, kinda overwhelmed, kinda freaked out but hey, God's in control, He has whatever I need eh?
Hopefully, by this time in two weeks I'll be in Chicago. Looking online is not the way to get a job if you ask me, It's overwhelming and more than a little depressing.
For as long as I can remember I've wanted to live in Chicago. I have no idea why. A friend who lives in one of the 'burbs of Chicago is allowing me to sleep on her couch while I job hunt. I'm thinking I'm going to do a temp agency thing and see where that leads. The plan is to buy a car, load it up and drive to Chicago whereupon I will begin searching. If, after a bit, it seems to be not working out I will head to Greenville and do the same thing there. I'm going in order of desirability of living locations.
So, please pray with me that God will open some doors. I'm kinda excited, kinda overwhelmed, kinda freaked out but hey, God's in control, He has whatever I need eh?
Thursday, May 14, 2009
How to make Joanna cry.
As stated before I hate crying. Always have. As a small child I'd hide whenever I cried. The teachers are singing for graduation and I'm not sure I'm going to make it through the song.
The words (if you can't hear the music):
The words (if you can't hear the music):
Make My Life an Alleluia
Make my life an alleluia,
A song of praise to You each day.
To proclaim Your grace and glory,
Fill my heart with Your praise, I pray.
When I stand at the mountaintop, or the valley of despair,
This will be my cry, my song, my prayer;
Lord make my life an alleluia.
Make my life an alleluia,
A gift of love to You, my King.
I will join with all creation
In the song that the heavens sing!
The earth will turn, and the planets spin,
As the seasons ebb and flow;
Still Your grace surrounds me as I go,
Lord, make my life an alleluia.
Make my life an alleluia,
This off'ring of myself I give to You.
I will share Your grace and mercy
For as long as I shall live.
When I come to my journey's end,
May those left behind be reminded,
This has been my cry, my song, my prayer;
Lord make my life an alleluia.
A song of praise to You each day.
To proclaim Your grace and glory,
Fill my heart with Your praise, I pray.
When I stand at the mountaintop, or the valley of despair,
This will be my cry, my song, my prayer;
Lord make my life an alleluia.
Make my life an alleluia,
A gift of love to You, my King.
I will join with all creation
In the song that the heavens sing!
The earth will turn, and the planets spin,
As the seasons ebb and flow;
Still Your grace surrounds me as I go,
Lord, make my life an alleluia.
Make my life an alleluia,
This off'ring of myself I give to You.
I will share Your grace and mercy
For as long as I shall live.
When I come to my journey's end,
May those left behind be reminded,
This has been my cry, my song, my prayer;
Lord make my life an alleluia.
Sunday, May 03, 2009
Last Month
We are now in May and are in the last month of school. I know it's cliche to say that time flies but it's true! This year has gone by soooo fast! It also does not seem like I've been in Korea for three years.
The emotions of leaving Korea are as of now gone; I'm becoming more and more glad to leave the more I get used to the idea. There are just some things..... But I know the last day of school is going to be hard. It's ok tho, I'll make it.
I'm looking around for jobs in the US online and it's kinda depressing actually. Having no marketable skill rots ya know? So I'm looking at going back to school for photography. I love love love taking pictures and think it'd be a fun carer. Right now I'm looking at going back to Greenville but not BJU, rather Greenville Tech or other such schools. I have a place to live and some possible job opportunities. I am also going to look around Minneapolis and Chicago when I'm in those locations for the summer. The biggest thing is obviously going to be the job. Just gotta see what God wants ya know? Doing photography would be an investment but I think a worthwhile one.
My boys are indeed going to BJ in the fall (I'm pretty sure). Max is planning on doing Pre-Med and Steve (I think) is going to do Health Fitness and Recreation. Jesse is still unsure what to major in. Max and Jesse are still trying to figure out things financially. All three of them are taking the TOFEL test on the 9th and are nervous about that. I told them not to worry, they are smaet boys and all have pretty good English. Jesse's cute: he's worried about his proununcation but I told him that living in the US will fix that pretty quickly. It would be neat to be in Greenville with them this fall. But again, gotta see what the Lord has in mind.
Job job job....pray pray pray....
Sigh.
The emotions of leaving Korea are as of now gone; I'm becoming more and more glad to leave the more I get used to the idea. There are just some things..... But I know the last day of school is going to be hard. It's ok tho, I'll make it.
I'm looking around for jobs in the US online and it's kinda depressing actually. Having no marketable skill rots ya know? So I'm looking at going back to school for photography. I love love love taking pictures and think it'd be a fun carer. Right now I'm looking at going back to Greenville but not BJU, rather Greenville Tech or other such schools. I have a place to live and some possible job opportunities. I am also going to look around Minneapolis and Chicago when I'm in those locations for the summer. The biggest thing is obviously going to be the job. Just gotta see what God wants ya know? Doing photography would be an investment but I think a worthwhile one.
My boys are indeed going to BJ in the fall (I'm pretty sure). Max is planning on doing Pre-Med and Steve (I think) is going to do Health Fitness and Recreation. Jesse is still unsure what to major in. Max and Jesse are still trying to figure out things financially. All three of them are taking the TOFEL test on the 9th and are nervous about that. I told them not to worry, they are smaet boys and all have pretty good English. Jesse's cute: he's worried about his proununcation but I told him that living in the US will fix that pretty quickly. It would be neat to be in Greenville with them this fall. But again, gotta see what the Lord has in mind.
Job job job....pray pray pray....
Sigh.
Friday, April 24, 2009
For it is God...
These past weeks have been busy, we are in the home stretch of classes. Monday starts the last half of the last quarter.
Some of you know this already and others don't so please bear with me if you are already "in the know".
Thursday I got a note in my box asking me to meet with the admin for a conference after school. The short of it is that, for reasons that I am unable go into, nor do I care to detail, they are not going to renew my contract next year. Apparently my principal was wanting to keep me, which I am happy about. I had only given them a verbal yes, nothing as of yet had been signed. So as of this moment I shall be returning to the US permanently this June. They are being more than generous with me, paying for extra luggage and for me to get the cat back as well as other things.
To be honest this is rather a relief; I see myself moving in such a direction that I was not sure if I was going to be able to fully support the school next year and was foreseeing a rather uncomfortable at the least year starting in the fall. The only reason I was going to stay was for my boys (more on them in a second). There are no hard feelings on my end and it seems that there are none on theirs as well so thus far all is good.
I have lots ahead of me; obviously I am going to need a job and other such minor things. I would settle for a rich husband if push came to shove....Thankfully I will be debt free when I get back to the US and have a little cash on hand, maybe enough for a down payment on a car. It's just the job thing that has me curious; I don't have a marketable skill (I did not major in teaching) and with the economy the way it is...but hey, God'd not get me outta this job if He did not already have one for me is my thinking. Still, I am apprehensively curious. If you're wondering, I'm looking to settle in the Chicago area but am really open to anything.
Thankfully since finding out about this whole thing I've managed to keep the emotions in check (I dread the last day of school; I hate hate hate crying). I cried a little yesterday and this morning as well. Lots of breathing through the nose and soon things were back to normal. The worst of the crying was when I had to tell my chemistry class. I had told my boys during homeroom and teared up a little then. They were quite upset when I told them, and after making sure I was not teasing them set about trying how to figure out what to do about next year. Earlier in the year when I was still unsure about staying they had said if I did not come back they would not. They were serious, as soon as first hour was over Max and Steve went to the office to see about early graduation (they were thinking of doing their senior year over the summer). Mrs. Johnson came to the room at the end of the day to tell them that both boys had enough credits to graduate this school year!! She is going to check on Jesse's credits and see if she can't get him graduated also. They are too late to get into state schools but she said getting into a Christian school should not be hard. Max was already kind of interested in Bob Jones but the money is the issue (as it is with all of them really). So they are going to be thinking and praying over the weekend and maybe starting college in the fall!! Please especially pray for Max, he really does want to go to BJ but right now can't afford it. If I understand the way visas work he has to have all the money (tuition/room and board) in hand before they will grant him the visa. That's quite a bit of money and with the exchange rate and all it's more. In most cases it's too late for scholarships but he and I are looking to see what we can find. Please please pray that he can get the money! If God wants him there He'll provide but hey, no harm in asking for prayer right??? I'm really clinging to Phil 2:13 right now and have said it to the kids a few times already.
Life is gonna be interesting for the next while!!
Some of you know this already and others don't so please bear with me if you are already "in the know".
Thursday I got a note in my box asking me to meet with the admin for a conference after school. The short of it is that, for reasons that I am unable go into, nor do I care to detail, they are not going to renew my contract next year. Apparently my principal was wanting to keep me, which I am happy about. I had only given them a verbal yes, nothing as of yet had been signed. So as of this moment I shall be returning to the US permanently this June. They are being more than generous with me, paying for extra luggage and for me to get the cat back as well as other things.
To be honest this is rather a relief; I see myself moving in such a direction that I was not sure if I was going to be able to fully support the school next year and was foreseeing a rather uncomfortable at the least year starting in the fall. The only reason I was going to stay was for my boys (more on them in a second). There are no hard feelings on my end and it seems that there are none on theirs as well so thus far all is good.
I have lots ahead of me; obviously I am going to need a job and other such minor things. I would settle for a rich husband if push came to shove....Thankfully I will be debt free when I get back to the US and have a little cash on hand, maybe enough for a down payment on a car. It's just the job thing that has me curious; I don't have a marketable skill (I did not major in teaching) and with the economy the way it is...but hey, God'd not get me outta this job if He did not already have one for me is my thinking. Still, I am apprehensively curious. If you're wondering, I'm looking to settle in the Chicago area but am really open to anything.
Thankfully since finding out about this whole thing I've managed to keep the emotions in check (I dread the last day of school; I hate hate hate crying). I cried a little yesterday and this morning as well. Lots of breathing through the nose and soon things were back to normal. The worst of the crying was when I had to tell my chemistry class. I had told my boys during homeroom and teared up a little then. They were quite upset when I told them, and after making sure I was not teasing them set about trying how to figure out what to do about next year. Earlier in the year when I was still unsure about staying they had said if I did not come back they would not. They were serious, as soon as first hour was over Max and Steve went to the office to see about early graduation (they were thinking of doing their senior year over the summer). Mrs. Johnson came to the room at the end of the day to tell them that both boys had enough credits to graduate this school year!! She is going to check on Jesse's credits and see if she can't get him graduated also. They are too late to get into state schools but she said getting into a Christian school should not be hard. Max was already kind of interested in Bob Jones but the money is the issue (as it is with all of them really). So they are going to be thinking and praying over the weekend and maybe starting college in the fall!! Please especially pray for Max, he really does want to go to BJ but right now can't afford it. If I understand the way visas work he has to have all the money (tuition/room and board) in hand before they will grant him the visa. That's quite a bit of money and with the exchange rate and all it's more. In most cases it's too late for scholarships but he and I are looking to see what we can find. Please please pray that he can get the money! If God wants him there He'll provide but hey, no harm in asking for prayer right??? I'm really clinging to Phil 2:13 right now and have said it to the kids a few times already.
"For it is God who worketh in you both to do and to will His good pleasure."
Life is gonna be interesting for the next while!!
Friday, April 10, 2009
Who Am I?
Yet another amazing Casting Crowns song. This one is currently a great encouragement to me. Especially the italicized lines at the start.
Who Am I?
Who am I, that the Lord of all the earth
Would care to know my name
Would care to feel my hurt
Who am I, that the Bright and Morning Star
Would choose to light the way
For my ever wandering heart
Not because of who I am
But because of what You've done
Not because of what I've done
But because of who You are
I am a flower quickly fading
Here today and gone tomorrow
A wave tossed in the ocean
A vapor in the wind
Still You hear me when I'm calling
Lord, You catch me when I'm falling
And You've told me who I am
I am Yours, I am Yours
Who am I, that the eyes that see my sin
Would look on me with love and watch me rise again
Who am I, that the voice that calmed the sea
Would call out through the rain
And calm the storm in me
I am Yours
Whom shall I fear
Whom shall I fear
'Cause I am Yours
I am Yours
You know; I need to stop selling God short. He can do things, even when I doubt Him.
Who am I, that the Lord of all the earth
Would care to know my name
Would care to feel my hurt
Who am I, that the Bright and Morning Star
Would choose to light the way
For my ever wandering heart
Not because of who I am
But because of what You've done
Not because of what I've done
But because of who You are
I am a flower quickly fading
Here today and gone tomorrow
A wave tossed in the ocean
A vapor in the wind
Still You hear me when I'm calling
Lord, You catch me when I'm falling
And You've told me who I am
I am Yours, I am Yours
Who am I, that the eyes that see my sin
Would look on me with love and watch me rise again
Who am I, that the voice that calmed the sea
Would call out through the rain
And calm the storm in me
I am Yours
Whom shall I fear
Whom shall I fear
'Cause I am Yours
I am Yours
You know; I need to stop selling God short. He can do things, even when I doubt Him.
Sunday, March 22, 2009
Happy Birthday to me
I'm very very tired but cannot sleep. So I find myself posting again, only is almost 3 a.m. Oh well.
I've mentioned before my love of the artist group Casting Crowns and lately I've been finding myself drawn especially to the lyrics to the title track of their second CD, Lifesong. One of my favourite verses in Psalms says "I will sing to the Lord because he has dealt bountifully with me." Anything God does for us is undeserved so how can I keep from singing? The words to the song are as follows:
And the last song of the CD is called And Now My Lifesong Sings. Again, the words:
I've mentioned before my love of the artist group Casting Crowns and lately I've been finding myself drawn especially to the lyrics to the title track of their second CD, Lifesong. One of my favourite verses in Psalms says "I will sing to the Lord because he has dealt bountifully with me." Anything God does for us is undeserved so how can I keep from singing? The words to the song are as follows:
Empty hands held high
Such small sacrifice
If not joined with my life
I sing in vain tonight
May the words I say
And the things I do
Make my lifesong sing
Bring a smile to You
Let my lifesong sing to You
Let my lifesong sing to You
I want to sign Your name to the end of this day
Knowing that my heart was true
Let my lifesong sing to You
Lord I give my life
A living sacrifice
To reach a world in need
To be Your hands and feet
So may the words I say
And the things I do
Make my lifesong sing
Bring a smile to You
Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Let my lifesong sing to You
Such small sacrifice
If not joined with my life
I sing in vain tonight
May the words I say
And the things I do
Make my lifesong sing
Bring a smile to You
Let my lifesong sing to You
Let my lifesong sing to You
I want to sign Your name to the end of this day
Knowing that my heart was true
Let my lifesong sing to You
Lord I give my life
A living sacrifice
To reach a world in need
To be Your hands and feet
So may the words I say
And the things I do
Make my lifesong sing
Bring a smile to You
Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Let my lifesong sing to You
And the last song of the CD is called And Now My Lifesong Sings. Again, the words:
I once was lost, but now I'm found
I once was lost, but now I'm found
So far away, but I'm home now
I once was lost, but now I'm found
And my lifesong sings
I once was blind, but now I see
I once was blind, but now I see
I don't know how, but when He touched me
I once was blind, but now I see
And now my lifesong sings
And now my lifesong sings
And now my lifesong sings
I once was dead, but now I live
I once was dead, but now I live
Now my life to You I give
Now my life to You I give
Now my life to You I give
Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Let my lifesong sing to You
With birthdays and all leading to life reflections I find myself hoping that my lifesong sings.
I once was lost, but now I'm found
So far away, but I'm home now
I once was lost, but now I'm found
And my lifesong sings
I once was blind, but now I see
I once was blind, but now I see
I don't know how, but when He touched me
I once was blind, but now I see
And now my lifesong sings
And now my lifesong sings
And now my lifesong sings
I once was dead, but now I live
I once was dead, but now I live
Now my life to You I give
Now my life to You I give
Now my life to You I give
Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Let my lifesong sing to You
With birthdays and all leading to life reflections I find myself hoping that my lifesong sings.
Monday, March 16, 2009
Friday, February 27, 2009
Max
I've mentioned Max on here several times before. He's been in my homeroom class for the last two years and is one of "my" boys.
Max is a very smart young man. He has been greatly blessed by God in the area of intellect. Lately he has started showing a bit of the pride issue that often accompanies such a gift.
For some reason Max listens to me. I really have no idea. I'm not looking for affirmation here. I just really don't know! I've read several of his assignments from other classes and there are things in them that I know came from me. In several cases I know exactly when the conversation took place. Thats ok, it just makes me go "EEK!" and makes me even more mindful of what I talk to him about. I remember being his age and lots of my ideas and opinions were those of my authorities, he's going through the same thing. Which is fine, I just need to make sure what I tell him is truly Biblical. Anyway, I say all that to show that for some reason God has given me Max to maybe help him in some areas. I'm hoping to be able to talk to him and encourage him in the area of his intellect and pride. To show him the difference between taking pride in your work and in being prideful in the abilities God has given you. Because of the way my schedule works I don't see this conversation taking place before next Thursday but I do ask that you pray that I do have the ability to talk to him and that I will say the right kinds of things and that he will listen. We kind of started the conversation this morning but it was during homeroom and the other kids were about to come in for Chemistry so we did not get very far.
I remember my parents having to talk to Benjamin (and currently Joshua) about the way they deal with their God-given abilities. I'm hoping to be able to encourage Max using some of the same things my parents said to my brothers. When it happens I'll let you know how it goes. Maybe God put me in Max's life to have this conversation. Maybe not. I don't want to seem like I think I'm the only one who will have any influence in the kids life but I do have to acknowledge that he does indeed seem to listen to me more which ought to make me very mindful of what I tell him.
Max is a very smart young man. He has been greatly blessed by God in the area of intellect. Lately he has started showing a bit of the pride issue that often accompanies such a gift.
For some reason Max listens to me. I really have no idea. I'm not looking for affirmation here. I just really don't know! I've read several of his assignments from other classes and there are things in them that I know came from me. In several cases I know exactly when the conversation took place. Thats ok, it just makes me go "EEK!" and makes me even more mindful of what I talk to him about. I remember being his age and lots of my ideas and opinions were those of my authorities, he's going through the same thing. Which is fine, I just need to make sure what I tell him is truly Biblical. Anyway, I say all that to show that for some reason God has given me Max to maybe help him in some areas. I'm hoping to be able to talk to him and encourage him in the area of his intellect and pride. To show him the difference between taking pride in your work and in being prideful in the abilities God has given you. Because of the way my schedule works I don't see this conversation taking place before next Thursday but I do ask that you pray that I do have the ability to talk to him and that I will say the right kinds of things and that he will listen. We kind of started the conversation this morning but it was during homeroom and the other kids were about to come in for Chemistry so we did not get very far.
I remember my parents having to talk to Benjamin (and currently Joshua) about the way they deal with their God-given abilities. I'm hoping to be able to encourage Max using some of the same things my parents said to my brothers. When it happens I'll let you know how it goes. Maybe God put me in Max's life to have this conversation. Maybe not. I don't want to seem like I think I'm the only one who will have any influence in the kids life but I do have to acknowledge that he does indeed seem to listen to me more which ought to make me very mindful of what I tell him.
Monday, February 23, 2009
Lenten Season
I've always liked the basic idea of Lent; taking the 40 week days before Easter and doing something different with your life. So this year I've decided to do something for Lent. Which starts Wednesday. I'm not doing anything denial-wise. I don't really have a much loved food I could afford to give up. I'm also pretty sure I'd hyperventilate if I were to go eight weeks without CSI:NY and I'm not too interested in setting myself up for failure. So for my first Lent I'm going to take an hour a day; 20 min with an exercise DVD and 40 with the Lord. I've not properly exercised in forever and I'm not exactly consistent with my devos.
Easter is my favourite season. Growing up there would be an appropriately themed sermon on Palm Sunday. We didn't have school on Good Friday and I vaguely recall going to Church and having potlucks afterwards. But I could be confused....so I pretend it happened and life's quite happy for it. Sunday was of course filled with Sunrise Services, breakfasts afterward (those were fun times, often the kids would get in trouble. Heh. I remember one time Brandon and Megan Daugharty and I got Benjamin to drink like 3 cups of black coffee at the Ivy Rose. He'd never had coffee before. At the oldest we were 13 and 14.), and another serivice. We would not have an evening service but would often go to a church in the area for evening services. I remember a Sunday filled with more joy than usual; we were celebreating the Ressurection!! He is risen! He is risen indeed!! One of my favourite hymns for Easter is "Christ the Lord is Ris'n Today". Why is the joy in that song so often not present in our Christian lives? It's been years since I've heard a joyful sermon at Easter. Why is the focus so rarely on the Empty Tomb and all that it means. Oh well. I can find good sermons online if need be.
Easter is my favourite season. Growing up there would be an appropriately themed sermon on Palm Sunday. We didn't have school on Good Friday and I vaguely recall going to Church and having potlucks afterwards. But I could be confused....so I pretend it happened and life's quite happy for it. Sunday was of course filled with Sunrise Services, breakfasts afterward (those were fun times, often the kids would get in trouble. Heh. I remember one time Brandon and Megan Daugharty and I got Benjamin to drink like 3 cups of black coffee at the Ivy Rose. He'd never had coffee before. At the oldest we were 13 and 14.), and another serivice. We would not have an evening service but would often go to a church in the area for evening services. I remember a Sunday filled with more joy than usual; we were celebreating the Ressurection!! He is risen! He is risen indeed!! One of my favourite hymns for Easter is "Christ the Lord is Ris'n Today". Why is the joy in that song so often not present in our Christian lives? It's been years since I've heard a joyful sermon at Easter. Why is the focus so rarely on the Empty Tomb and all that it means. Oh well. I can find good sermons online if need be.
Friday, February 13, 2009
I Liiiiiiiiive!!
Sorry I've not been posting lately. Things have not really been that interesting. Or, rather there have been interesting things but nothing I can blog about. Let's just say that some people have....interesting....views on things in scripture. For example: Did you know that Esther was out of the will of God when she married whatshisnose and we know this because God is not mentioned in the book? I'll leave it there.
Things have been slow. We dissected frogs in Life Science but it was not as interesting as it was last year. The kids were not as active with their frogs this year as some of them were last year. Ummm...we had some contests on our floor for the kids to get house points but my blessed homeroom boys won't get involved....it's not out of a bad attitude, it's just not their thing. Linda and I are trying to get them involved somehow we just can't think of anything.
Uhmmmm, thats really it. Sorry it's not as exciting as my posts usualy are. There's just nothing to report. It's spring, everything's slow.
It was a rainy/gloomy day today. I liked it. No electric storm tho....mmmm...any other randomness I can tell you to drag this post out with?
OOH! Got an early birthday boxen!! From Rhonda; CSI:NY season 3 (squeee!!), Shrek 2 and other random fun things. Already gone through all of CSI:NY. Time to start back at the begining.
Something else!! You might be interested in this. It's a blog/writing assignment Jessica has the kids in grade 11 and 12 doing for grammar. They are watching "The Question of God" in class on Mondays (I think) and she's having them...well, you can go look at it and see for yourself.
Ok, I'm really done now.
Things have been slow. We dissected frogs in Life Science but it was not as interesting as it was last year. The kids were not as active with their frogs this year as some of them were last year. Ummm...we had some contests on our floor for the kids to get house points but my blessed homeroom boys won't get involved....it's not out of a bad attitude, it's just not their thing. Linda and I are trying to get them involved somehow we just can't think of anything.
Uhmmmm, thats really it. Sorry it's not as exciting as my posts usualy are. There's just nothing to report. It's spring, everything's slow.
It was a rainy/gloomy day today. I liked it. No electric storm tho....mmmm...any other randomness I can tell you to drag this post out with?
OOH! Got an early birthday boxen!! From Rhonda; CSI:NY season 3 (squeee!!), Shrek 2 and other random fun things. Already gone through all of CSI:NY. Time to start back at the begining.
Something else!! You might be interested in this. It's a blog/writing assignment Jessica has the kids in grade 11 and 12 doing for grammar. They are watching "The Question of God" in class on Mondays (I think) and she's having them...well, you can go look at it and see for yourself.
Ok, I'm really done now.
Saturday, January 24, 2009
Happy New Year! (almost)
Time for the traditional wishing of the Lunar New Year! We are leaving the Year of the Rat and entering the Year of the Ox so if you are turning a multiple of 12 this year you are an Ox. The actual LNY is Sunday I think, but we have Monday and Tuesday off which makes for a happy me. The teachers actually don't really have plans this year. I'm good with that; I need to clean.
Not too much to report; exams are FINALLY over and graded and all that. The week of exams (second week of Jan) was the coldest week of the year; well below freezing all week, tho not as cold as my parents had it; -25*F!!! The first two days of the week the heat was broken in both my apartment and on the High School floor. The students and teachers wore their jackets and stuff in an attempt to thaw. I would go home and sit in front of my space heater with many clothing layers, blankets and tea and watch movies. I also lived on eggs that week; I had picked some up on the weekend meaning to get more groceries later but it was too cold to go out!! So eggs it was. I'm glad I like eggs. Wednesday the HS was working on Thursday my heat was as well so I was fine. Good thing I don't mind the cold. It had gotten warmer this past week but today it's cold again, but not as bad as it had been.
I made a decision/leap of faith to stay one more year. I do want to see my boys through their last year. They were thrilled. Max suggested that I teach them one class and spend the rest of the day making food for them. I told him Mrs. J might have something to say about that. I think teacher-wise next year's gonna be fun; a friend is most likely going to come teach and she and I will live together if she does. Jessica is staying too which I am happy about. Other than staying for the boys I don't know really how I feel about being here one more year. I mean, something about being here one more year is a little depressing. It's difficult to explain.
OH! I'm down another kilogram! I have a denim jacket that zipped but was a tidge snug; not anymore!!! It's not too big yet but maybe next season...
That's really it. Nothing too exciting. More later maybe after the weekend's over.
Not too much to report; exams are FINALLY over and graded and all that. The week of exams (second week of Jan) was the coldest week of the year; well below freezing all week, tho not as cold as my parents had it; -25*F!!! The first two days of the week the heat was broken in both my apartment and on the High School floor. The students and teachers wore their jackets and stuff in an attempt to thaw. I would go home and sit in front of my space heater with many clothing layers, blankets and tea and watch movies. I also lived on eggs that week; I had picked some up on the weekend meaning to get more groceries later but it was too cold to go out!! So eggs it was. I'm glad I like eggs. Wednesday the HS was working on Thursday my heat was as well so I was fine. Good thing I don't mind the cold. It had gotten warmer this past week but today it's cold again, but not as bad as it had been.
I made a decision/leap of faith to stay one more year. I do want to see my boys through their last year. They were thrilled. Max suggested that I teach them one class and spend the rest of the day making food for them. I told him Mrs. J might have something to say about that. I think teacher-wise next year's gonna be fun; a friend is most likely going to come teach and she and I will live together if she does. Jessica is staying too which I am happy about. Other than staying for the boys I don't know really how I feel about being here one more year. I mean, something about being here one more year is a little depressing. It's difficult to explain.
OH! I'm down another kilogram! I have a denim jacket that zipped but was a tidge snug; not anymore!!! It's not too big yet but maybe next season...
That's really it. Nothing too exciting. More later maybe after the weekend's over.
Monday, January 05, 2009
Another post with lots of links (9 to be precise)
As previously mentioned I was in Chicago for New Years. It was much fun. I had missed having conversation that was worth having (more on that later). On Friday Rebecca and I went into downtown Chicago and ended up at the Art Institute of Chicago. We just kinda randomly went in and got more culture than we were expecting. Or at least than I was expecting. I had no idea that I was about to see American Gothic, La Grande Jatte, a Jackson Pollock, or Lilies, or VanGogh or his room or other things. It was cool. I like unexpected things like that. I love that Pollock piece. I hate American Gothic. It's depressing.
I got a new CD in Chicago: Casting Crowns Lifesong. I had heard it before but it had been a while. I forgot how much I loved their songs. Especially "While You Were Sleeping", "Praise You in this Storm" and.....ok, I like them all. I need their other CD now. Not their live one. I'm not sure why artists put live songs on CDs, or why they put out live albums. It's annoying. Not that I have an opinion or anything.
The best part about being in Chicago was the talking. Rebecca picked me up and we went to dinner where her boss joined us. We talked for about an hour or even two over some great pizza. The conversation ranged from tattoos to music to drinking to Bibles to mutual friends. Her boss is on the board of BJU and despite what that might make you think he is a very balanced person. I mean, who do you know that would somehow discover who the top CCM artist was and seek to listen to them? Then when we were talking about them (Skillett, whom I have heard of but never heard) there was no "I can't believe a Christian would listen to that." kind of attitude from him. It was a genuine curiosity as to what is so appealing about them (and others like them) to people. After we left Rebecca and I walked to her place (Itasca, the 'burb where she is, is teeny and charming) and continued the conversation until 1:30am. This time we added such things as Eschatology and if the Kingdom of God is on Earth yet or not. There was lots of talk about the baggage that often comes with being in certain sects (for lack of a better term) of Christianity. I hate that where I currently am I am made to feel that such things as my Church attendance, the music standards I have, books I might read and other superficials determine my spirituality. The Bible says you will know me by my fruit and especially by my love. Not by if I drink, read Harry Potter, wear pants to church, listen to various CCM artists or other stupidity. Total tangent: you ever notice that the World does not judge your Christian-ness based on all that but that many Christians in Fundamental circles do? The World does not care if you claim to be a Christian and drink or don't drink. They wanna see you act like it and Christians sadly don't often act like Christians to one another. I'm tired of being judged. It would be nice if more people were like Chuck (Rebecca's boss), when we were talking there were things it was clear he did not agree with us on but you could tell he was not, in his mind, questioning our spirituality, or worse, our salvation.
Anyway, a guy in Rebecca's church had a New Years Eve thing and she and I went. It was lots of fun (2 Baptists, 7 PCA's/4 lawyers, 2 engineers, 1 teacher, 1....I can't remember what he did, and 1 construction project manager). Again, conversation ranged all over; misconceptions we had as kids, things God did for us in the past, things we were hoping for in the future, things pertaining to the South, music, TV, baggage again...I could keep going. There was lots of laughter. Especially as the night wore on. But again, the conversation is what made it great. It was fun yet saddening; I had more/better Christian fellowship in those seven hours than I have had in the last year. I don't fit the prescribed Christian mold here. I do what I am supposed to do contractually but it's hard not being able to be myself and share opinions and thoughts that I know people will disagree with and we can still go away with respect for the other person. And despite the assurances from some that I am never judged there are times when that is certainly not the case.
I just don't know about next year. There is one thing and one thing only keeping me here: these students are my life right now and I can't imagine leaving them. But another year of the above? I don't know if I can do it. There are times I feel as if I'm going to have a break down. Also, to be dead honest, as much as I blow it off I do indeed want to eventually get married and the fact of the matter is: the likely hood of finding someone here is pretty slim at best. (Don't worry, I'm not going to come back to the States just to find a husband. I do want to get married but it's not a priority yet.) Having students ask me on a weekly basis when I'm getting married does not help matters. Don't get me wrong, being single's cool; I doubt I'd be here if I were married and I know I'd not have have some of the opportunities I've had were I married. It's just...
All of this stuff I've given to God. These are just some things that are in my head about all of it. I'm so glad God is in control!!
Ok, wow, this post took a totally different direction than I was originally going. I've never ever posted anything like this I don't think. Whatever, first time for everything.
I got a new CD in Chicago: Casting Crowns Lifesong. I had heard it before but it had been a while. I forgot how much I loved their songs. Especially "While You Were Sleeping", "Praise You in this Storm" and.....ok, I like them all. I need their other CD now. Not their live one. I'm not sure why artists put live songs on CDs, or why they put out live albums. It's annoying. Not that I have an opinion or anything.
The best part about being in Chicago was the talking. Rebecca picked me up and we went to dinner where her boss joined us. We talked for about an hour or even two over some great pizza. The conversation ranged from tattoos to music to drinking to Bibles to mutual friends. Her boss is on the board of BJU and despite what that might make you think he is a very balanced person. I mean, who do you know that would somehow discover who the top CCM artist was and seek to listen to them? Then when we were talking about them (Skillett, whom I have heard of but never heard) there was no "I can't believe a Christian would listen to that." kind of attitude from him. It was a genuine curiosity as to what is so appealing about them (and others like them) to people. After we left Rebecca and I walked to her place (Itasca, the 'burb where she is, is teeny and charming) and continued the conversation until 1:30am. This time we added such things as Eschatology and if the Kingdom of God is on Earth yet or not. There was lots of talk about the baggage that often comes with being in certain sects (for lack of a better term) of Christianity. I hate that where I currently am I am made to feel that such things as my Church attendance, the music standards I have, books I might read and other superficials determine my spirituality. The Bible says you will know me by my fruit and especially by my love. Not by if I drink, read Harry Potter, wear pants to church, listen to various CCM artists or other stupidity. Total tangent: you ever notice that the World does not judge your Christian-ness based on all that but that many Christians in Fundamental circles do? The World does not care if you claim to be a Christian and drink or don't drink. They wanna see you act like it and Christians sadly don't often act like Christians to one another. I'm tired of being judged. It would be nice if more people were like Chuck (Rebecca's boss), when we were talking there were things it was clear he did not agree with us on but you could tell he was not, in his mind, questioning our spirituality, or worse, our salvation.
Anyway, a guy in Rebecca's church had a New Years Eve thing and she and I went. It was lots of fun (2 Baptists, 7 PCA's/4 lawyers, 2 engineers, 1 teacher, 1....I can't remember what he did, and 1 construction project manager). Again, conversation ranged all over; misconceptions we had as kids, things God did for us in the past, things we were hoping for in the future, things pertaining to the South, music, TV, baggage again...I could keep going. There was lots of laughter. Especially as the night wore on. But again, the conversation is what made it great. It was fun yet saddening; I had more/better Christian fellowship in those seven hours than I have had in the last year. I don't fit the prescribed Christian mold here. I do what I am supposed to do contractually but it's hard not being able to be myself and share opinions and thoughts that I know people will disagree with and we can still go away with respect for the other person. And despite the assurances from some that I am never judged there are times when that is certainly not the case.
I just don't know about next year. There is one thing and one thing only keeping me here: these students are my life right now and I can't imagine leaving them. But another year of the above? I don't know if I can do it. There are times I feel as if I'm going to have a break down. Also, to be dead honest, as much as I blow it off I do indeed want to eventually get married and the fact of the matter is: the likely hood of finding someone here is pretty slim at best. (Don't worry, I'm not going to come back to the States just to find a husband. I do want to get married but it's not a priority yet.) Having students ask me on a weekly basis when I'm getting married does not help matters. Don't get me wrong, being single's cool; I doubt I'd be here if I were married and I know I'd not have have some of the opportunities I've had were I married. It's just...
All of this stuff I've given to God. These are just some things that are in my head about all of it. I'm so glad God is in control!!
Ok, wow, this post took a totally different direction than I was originally going. I've never ever posted anything like this I don't think. Whatever, first time for everything.
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
Something to Ponder
Some friends of mine have been involved in a petition requesting that the University I attended apologize for certain past actions. I was not convinced that the letter was something I needed to sign. Until Rebecca posted this on her blog. And it struck a chord with me. So I'm signing. I can see both sides of the issue, but the side asking for an apology is now clearer to me. I too was wrong. I, like Rebecca personally know people that their polices affected and know that they were hurt by those polices. And though I was there after theban was lifted there was still a slight current of the issue. I have no excuse.
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