Frustrated!

I like to say that I don't get stressed. But the truth is, I do. And I react to stress in a very negative way; I get frustrated at the very least. And lately there are many things that are causing frustration. One of them ought not to be. The other will be gone by Friday (or Monday at the latest).

The one that will go away soon is Science Fair. The kids have had information in their hands for a month and known about it for much longer than that. I spent two days going over the things they need to know. I have (in some cases) given them experiments to do. Everything is due tomorrow. Some kids have not done their experiments. Others are asking me questions I have gone over several times in class ("Miss Straub, what's a logbook?" is the most common one. And the one that I spent the most time on a month ago.) I am afraid the stuff is going to hit the fan on this one. Nicely enough, the class I was most concerned about (11th, the Chemistry class that is no more) is mostly done. They don't get a grade or anything, but still have to do it. They are doing Rube-Goldberg Machines.

The other issue is my own fault. I'm gonna be straight on this one. I know God wants me here another year. I don't want to be. There are many things here that are very difficult to deal with. And none of them have to do with the students. I love the students more than I can say. At any rate, I am basically fighting with God and am making myself miserable. I waffle, I say I'll stay then am ok for like a day then am like "NO! I wanna get outta here!!" and it starts all over again. I'm not giving it to God and letting Him keep it. I keep taking it back.

So these two things have had me in a state of frustration lately. I'd be doing much better if I just stopped playing this game with God. I know I'm gonna lose anyway.