Hi there!

Okokokokok....

So where were we? Work's still work. My commission is going up as I do more. The more I do the more comfortable I feel. But I still have a looooong way to go. I miss having a camera; mine died so I'm looking to get a new one eventually. I want an SLR but those are not cheap. I might spring for one after Thanksgiving and do the whole "investment" thing. Because if I stay in this field I have to start investing in the proper equipment. And starting at some point I wanna take classes too. But why must things require money?!?!?!? Cuz I also am going to need a new computer soon and am reeeeeelly wanting to go to India over Easter (to meet up with Jess and Holly and Lisa Walker from Korea). Meh, the Lord'll provide if I'm supposed to get/do these things.

Um, other things...I've got a place to live! I'm moving in this week with a girl from church. Stephanie is the same age as I am and is an engeneer. She works with the teens and I'm actually hoping to start working with them eventually myself.

I've decided to give away my cat. Right now I'm too "unsettled" to have an animal and if something were to happen to him and he'd need some kind of medical help I could not afford to take care of him. Practically, pragmatically, now's just not the time. I'm good with that decision, really. I've found a shelter that I want to take him but it's like an hour away they have hours that don't line up with my hours at the studio. I'm hoping to take him next week on my day off.

It's getting nice and cool and fall-y here! Yay! I love this time of year...if only I had a camera to take pics of it...

Thats all for now.

Woa

I thought about posting this as "It's a small world after all" but I think we are past that. I leave it for you to decide.

So a few weeks back a new girl was hired at the photo studio. While she was in the process of being hired (they were having her do a shoot) it was found out that she had spent time in Canada. We did the whole "Cool! Where?" thing and discovered that we had both lived in the same town but did not make much of it because it had been some time back for both of us and she had mentioned that she had not lived there for too long, nor did we really have time to dig deeper.

Until today.

It started when we were talking about college and it was discovered that she knew someone who had gone to BJU and I knew the girl too (more as a passing acquaintance). That's the "it's a small world" part.

BUT

From there we decided to dig unto out Canadian past. The conversation went something like this (I am taking a few liberties in the process);

Me: "How old were you when you were in Canada?"

Jen: "Ummm....5th grade."

Me: "Where did you go to school? [starts naming some of the schools finally naming.....]...Prince Andrew?"

Jen: "Yeh! Prince Andrew!"

Me: "Me too!!"

[insert look of "crazy!"]

Me: "When were you born?"

Jen: "'86"

[Some quick mental math reveals that she and I were at Prince Andrew at the same time, only when she was in grade 5 I was in grade 8].

Me: "Thats so funny!! Where did you live?"

Jen: I dunno, a subdivision with a big park in the middle of it."

Me: "Me too!!"

[insert another look, then I google my old neighborhood]

Me: "I lived here. In Heritage Park."

Jen: "I lived here! [points to the main street of the same subdivision.] And my pastor lived over....here... [points to my street].

[another look]

Me: Where'd you go to church?"

Jen: "I can't remember, but the pastors son had something wrong with him."

Me: "My little brother is in a wheelchair."

[another look]

Me: "Emmanuel Baptist Church?"

Jen: "I can't remember."

There was a little more conversation where both of us were like..."Ummm...woa." Then I had to leave, as I did I called my mum and told her about Jen. I told her what I had learned and mum remembered them, as did Dad when I called him.

So, yeh, I work with a girl who went to church with me in Canada for eight months more than ten years ago.

Some say coincidence; I say God. Either way: "Woa."

Catching up

This is most likely going to be a long post. Pictures might or might not appear, we'll see how I feel about it.

Ok, graduation first. Which was like, a month ago, if not longer.

This year we has 12 graduates which to date is the largest graduating class of SCS (last year we had one graduate and the year before three). The night of graduation the parents took the teachers out to a nice dinner with the kids. It was fun to just sit and hang out with the kids. But then when is it not?? Then back to school for the actual graduation. The kids were running around getting last second things done, several had to tweak their senior testimonies. Some were rewriting them all together. One kid even asked me "What do I say?" I told him that I was not writing his Sr.Testimony for him and that he had had several weeks to work on it. He did get it done tho.

Graduation itself was good. Steve's testimony was funny, in it he thanked me for my uncontitional love and support then said "...and I am sure that you will find the perfect man." I managed not to cry until the end when people were taking picturesand stuff. I had one of the Korean teachers translate something for me when I went to talk to Max' mum. I started crying then and almost was under control when she hugged me. She was crying when she hugged me and it made it worse. Then Max came over and hugged us both which made me cry more.

The last week of school was exams and the last day was a cleaning/awards day. At the end of the awards chapel the kids all gave me cards and made me cry. It's nice to know that I am loved and will be missed.

Then the last few days were just making sure things were in order. I got school stuff done and did that last minute shopping for things I wanted. actually, for three days Holly Jessica and I went down to the south where they grow the green tea (thats another post). I got most of my stuff done and what I did not finish Merilee was so incredibly sweet to finish for me.

Going to the airport was ok. Again, Merilee was sweet and came with me. I stuck the cat in his carrier and he cried for the entire twoish hour trip to the airport. I was kinda concerend but by the time we got there he had settled down. Max, Angelina and Ronnie came to see me at the airport which was nice. Angelina gave me a sweet note and some pictures. Then it was time to go through security. I cried a little as I went through but quickly composed myself. The flight itself was good, the cat was quiet for the most part, only having a minor crisis for about an hour about two-thirds of the way through the flight. There were no accidents for the duration of the entire trip thankfully. Thanks to those of you who prayed. We made it to MN and shortly after getting home went to bed. The cat is still getting used to the house, just a moment ago actually he came all the way up the stairs and into the dining room. He's ok tho and happy to stay in the basement for the most part. He and the dog have not had too much interaction so there's nothing to tell in that area.

Things have been super busy here; since getting here I've had much to do. During the times I'm not looking online at jobs and cars I've gone and renewed my liscence, gotten a cell phone (it's pretty and purple and stuff!!), and spent too much money on essentials like shampoo, a new hair dryer and the like.

I'm looking in the Chicago and Greenville areas for jobs and have applied online at several places in both locations. I have a great lead on a car that I am hoping to get tonight or tomorrow and after that I am hoping to head to Chicago and get a better feel for the area when it comes to jobs. So we'll see what God has in mind.

Close My Eyes and Leap

So. I'm back in the US. And more than completely overwhelmed. After much thinking and not enough praying (never enough really) this is what I think is going to happen:

Hopefully, by this time in two weeks I'll be in Chicago. Looking online is not the way to get a job if you ask me, It's overwhelming and more than a little depressing.

For as long as I can remember I've wanted to live in Chicago. I have no idea why. A friend who lives in one of the 'burbs of Chicago is allowing me to sleep on her couch while I job hunt. I'm thinking I'm going to do a temp agency thing and see where that leads. The plan is to buy a car, load it up and drive to Chicago whereupon I will begin searching. If, after a bit, it seems to be not working out I will head to Greenville and do the same thing there. I'm going in order of desirability of living locations.

So, please pray with me that God will open some doors. I'm kinda excited, kinda overwhelmed, kinda freaked out but hey, God's in control, He has whatever I need eh?

Hi

So I am still alive but as you can mostly immagine super super busy. I just wanted to post on here to let you know that I am indeed still alive. I have several posts I need to write but they are most likely not going to get on here until I get to the US on Friday.

One quick prayer request tho: I fly out on Friday and am kinda concerned about flying with my cat. I have a 12h flight then a 4h layover then another 3ish h flight. Please pray that Mac and I both make it!!

On Movies and Brothers

Ok, last weekend I saw Wolverine (even wore my X-Men shirt). Loved. Tonight, I saw Star Trek. Loved more. There was one downer to both movies: no brothers.



My family did not start going to movies until The Lord of the Rings came out. The first theatre I was in was in FL and in the scene at the end of Fellowship of the Ring when Aragorn cuts off the orc's head a little boy yelled out "WOA!! He just cut off his head!!" That now gets said everytime we watch those movies together.

Now our whole family was very familiar with the stories before the movies came out; Dad had read them aloud a few summers previously when on a family vacation and we had the BBC dramatization on CD's. So leaving the theatre we began discussing. Things we liked, things we hated, things that were "interesting" and so on. This is something that continues to this day. We've been to movies with friends and leave talking about it. Our friends usually think we are nuts. We don't nitpick or criticize usually, just talk about details and lines and stuff. We remember lots.

Wolverine and Star Trek are totally movies we'd go see together and talk about. My guess is that Joshua would like the first and not the latter. I think. But I could be wrong. But I think Benjamin and I would pretty much see eye to eye on both and we'd most likely talk Joshua around (he tends to be a purest). I totally missed that last week and tonight. I walked home from the theatre tonight and had to have the conversation in my head. I realized that the drives leaving the movies are some of my favourite memories with my brothers. Can't wait to make more once I'm back!!

Last Month

We are now in May and are in the last month of school. I know it's cliche to say that time flies but it's true! This year has gone by soooo fast! It also does not seem like I've been in Korea for three years.

The emotions of leaving Korea are as of now gone; I'm becoming more and more glad to leave the more I get used to the idea. There are just some things..... But I know the last day of school is going to be hard. It's ok tho, I'll make it.

I'm looking around for jobs in the US online and it's kinda depressing actually. Having no marketable skill rots ya know? So I'm looking at going back to school for photography. I love love love taking pictures and think it'd be a fun carer. Right now I'm looking at going back to Greenville but not BJU, rather Greenville Tech or other such schools. I have a place to live and some possible job opportunities. I am also going to look around Minneapolis and Chicago when I'm in those locations for the summer. The biggest thing is obviously going to be the job. Just gotta see what God wants ya know? Doing photography would be an investment but I think a worthwhile one.

My boys are indeed going to BJ in the fall (I'm pretty sure). Max is planning on doing Pre-Med and Steve (I think) is going to do Health Fitness and Recreation. Jesse is still unsure what to major in. Max and Jesse are still trying to figure out things financially. All three of them are taking the TOFEL test on the 9th and are nervous about that. I told them not to worry, they are smaet boys and all have pretty good English. Jesse's cute: he's worried about his proununcation but I told him that living in the US will fix that pretty quickly. It would be neat to be in Greenville with them this fall. But again, gotta see what the Lord has in mind.

Job job job....pray pray pray....

Sigh.

For it is God...

These past weeks have been busy, we are in the home stretch of classes. Monday starts the last half of the last quarter.

Some of you know this already and others don't so please bear with me if you are already "in the know".

Thursday I got a note in my box asking me to meet with the admin for a conference after school. The short of it is that, for reasons that I am unable go into, nor do I care to detail, they are not going to renew my contract next year. Apparently my principal was wanting to keep me, which I am happy about. I had only given them a verbal yes, nothing as of yet had been signed. So as of this moment I shall be returning to the US permanently this June. They are being more than generous with me, paying for extra luggage and for me to get the cat back as well as other things.

To be honest this is rather a relief; I see myself moving in such a direction that I was not sure if I was going to be able to fully support the school next year and was foreseeing a rather uncomfortable at the least year starting in the fall. The only reason I was going to stay was for my boys (more on them in a second). There are no hard feelings on my end and it seems that there are none on theirs as well so thus far all is good.

I have lots ahead of me; obviously I am going to need a job and other such minor things. I would settle for a rich husband if push came to shove....Thankfully I will be debt free when I get back to the US and have a little cash on hand, maybe enough for a down payment on a car. It's just the job thing that has me curious; I don't have a marketable skill (I did not major in teaching) and with the economy the way it is...but hey, God'd not get me outta this job if He did not already have one for me is my thinking. Still, I am apprehensively curious. If you're wondering, I'm looking to settle in the Chicago area but am really open to anything.

Thankfully since finding out about this whole thing I've managed to keep the emotions in check (I dread the last day of school; I hate hate hate crying). I cried a little yesterday and this morning as well. Lots of breathing through the nose and soon things were back to normal. The worst of the crying was when I had to tell my chemistry class. I had told my boys during homeroom and teared up a little then. They were quite upset when I told them, and after making sure I was not teasing them set about trying how to figure out what to do about next year. Earlier in the year when I was still unsure about staying they had said if I did not come back they would not. They were serious, as soon as first hour was over Max and Steve went to the office to see about early graduation (they were thinking of doing their senior year over the summer). Mrs. Johnson came to the room at the end of the day to tell them that both boys had enough credits to graduate this school year!! She is going to check on Jesse's credits and see if she can't get him graduated also. They are too late to get into state schools but she said getting into a Christian school should not be hard. Max was already kind of interested in Bob Jones but the money is the issue (as it is with all of them really). So they are going to be thinking and praying over the weekend and maybe starting college in the fall!! Please especially pray for Max, he really does want to go to BJ but right now can't afford it. If I understand the way visas work he has to have all the money (tuition/room and board) in hand before they will grant him the visa. That's quite a bit of money and with the exchange rate and all it's more. In most cases it's too late for scholarships but he and I are looking to see what we can find. Please please pray that he can get the money! If God wants him there He'll provide but hey, no harm in asking for prayer right??? I'm really clinging to Phil 2:13 right now and have said it to the kids a few times already.

"For it is God who worketh in you both to do and to will His good pleasure."

Life is gonna be interesting for the next while!!

So Happy

So this past week one of my best friends got engaged. There are three friends in my life who are on equal plane; I cannot choose one of them as "best". There are no favourites. Rebecca (and the others) mean more to me than I can put into words: "best friend" sells them all so very short.

I've meet Bill (her fiance) once, before they were dating and was instantly impressed with him.

I'm so very happy for her!! If you are interested you can go here for wedding info (pics and such). Rumor has it that I'm in it...What a great reason to go to my favourite place in the world!!

Things Hobbits get for birthdays

In no particular order:

Monies in gift certificate form (to be turned into CDs or used at the appropriate restaurant)
DVD sets
Coffee (lots!!)
Things for nail art
Golden calf
Jewelry
Popsicle molds and other kitchen-y things
Books

Other things that are not being called to mind at the top of my head. Apparently I have other boxen coming from the States so the party is going to be extended!!

The birthday day itself was fun. Church (which I was mostly dead for not having slept well the two preceding nights) then later in the afternoon dinner at an Italian restaurant. Jess and I ran around a bit after dinner then we walked home; I had to finish my grades.

We are now in the last quarter of the year. Spring break starts next week!! I'm not doing anything but sleeping and cleaning (theoretically).

Um...that's really it. I gotta go back to cleaning now. And I need to write a test eventually....

Hm

Interesting.

Ouchie!

Life as always is busy. I think I've averaged three tests a week over the last month. This week alone had 4 and I'm giving another 3 next week. And I'm getting a St. Patrick's Day....something ready for the kids at school. I copied and laminated over 200 shamrocks and other such Irish emblems last week. I gave the kids team points (The school is divided into 4 teams which gain and lose points over the year. Winning team gets a trip or something.) for cutting out all those things. Each had to be cut out twice; once from the initial printouts and again from the laminate. Everything got done in two days. Maybe three. That's just school stuff off the top of my head. We had a day off at the beginning of the month and I'm already ready for spring break. I was going to try to go to China but can't swing it financially. Speaking of money, I read somewhere that the won/dollar rate is supposed to adjust. Or at least go back to the 1,300 won/$1 that had been holding steady for a greater portion of the school year. Guess as long it's not going to go to the 1,800 people were predicting I can deal.

For the last six weeks or so I've had bad wrist pain off and on. Seeing as I am on the computer on a regular basis I was getting concerned that it might be carpal tunnel but reading up on it maybe not. However (comma) I'm thinking that it might be tendonitis. And the only thing I can do with that is what I have been doing; pain killers and a wrist bandage. And of course it has to be my left hand making writing and eating difficult.

Last night several of us went to see Madame Butterfly. It was nice tho I was very tired the whole time (I've been going to bed late this week. Bad Joanna.) Yay for weekends and sleep!

Max

I've mentioned Max on here several times before. He's been in my homeroom class for the last two years and is one of "my" boys.

Max is a very smart young man. He has been greatly blessed by God in the area of intellect. Lately he has started showing a bit of the pride issue that often accompanies such a gift.

For some reason Max listens to me. I really have no idea. I'm not looking for affirmation here. I just really don't know! I've read several of his assignments from other classes and there are things in them that I know came from me. In several cases I know exactly when the conversation took place. Thats ok, it just makes me go "EEK!" and makes me even more mindful of what I talk to him about. I remember being his age and lots of my ideas and opinions were those of my authorities, he's going through the same thing. Which is fine, I just need to make sure what I tell him is truly Biblical. Anyway, I say all that to show that for some reason God has given me Max to maybe help him in some areas. I'm hoping to be able to talk to him and encourage him in the area of his intellect and pride. To show him the difference between taking pride in your work and in being prideful in the abilities God has given you. Because of the way my schedule works I don't see this conversation taking place before next Thursday but I do ask that you pray that I do have the ability to talk to him and that I will say the right kinds of things and that he will listen. We kind of started the conversation this morning but it was during homeroom and the other kids were about to come in for Chemistry so we did not get very far.

I remember my parents having to talk to Benjamin (and currently Joshua) about the way they deal with their God-given abilities. I'm hoping to be able to encourage Max using some of the same things my parents said to my brothers. When it happens I'll let you know how it goes. Maybe God put me in Max's life to have this conversation. Maybe not. I don't want to seem like I think I'm the only one who will have any influence in the kids life but I do have to acknowledge that he does indeed seem to listen to me more which ought to make me very mindful of what I tell him.

Lenten Season

I've always liked the basic idea of Lent; taking the 40 week days before Easter and doing something different with your life. So this year I've decided to do something for Lent. Which starts Wednesday. I'm not doing anything denial-wise. I don't really have a much loved food I could afford to give up. I'm also pretty sure I'd hyperventilate if I were to go eight weeks without CSI:NY and I'm not too interested in setting myself up for failure. So for my first Lent I'm going to take an hour a day; 20 min with an exercise DVD and 40 with the Lord. I've not properly exercised in forever and I'm not exactly consistent with my devos.

Easter is my favourite season. Growing up there would be an appropriately themed sermon on Palm Sunday. We didn't have school on Good Friday and I vaguely recall going to Church and having potlucks afterwards. But I could be confused....so I pretend it happened and life's quite happy for it. Sunday was of course filled with Sunrise Services, breakfasts afterward (those were fun times, often the kids would get in trouble. Heh. I remember one time Brandon and Megan Daugharty and I got Benjamin to drink like 3 cups of black coffee at the Ivy Rose. He'd never had coffee before. At the oldest we were 13 and 14.), and another serivice. We would not have an evening service but would often go to a church in the area for evening services. I remember a Sunday filled with more joy than usual; we were celebreating the Ressurection!! He is risen! He is risen indeed!! One of my favourite hymns for Easter is "Christ the Lord is Ris'n Today". Why is the joy in that song so often not present in our Christian lives? It's been years since I've heard a joyful sermon at Easter. Why is the focus so rarely on the Empty Tomb and all that it means. Oh well. I can find good sermons online if need be.

I Liiiiiiiiive!!

Sorry I've not been posting lately. Things have not really been that interesting. Or, rather there have been interesting things but nothing I can blog about. Let's just say that some people have....interesting....views on things in scripture. For example: Did you know that Esther was out of the will of God when she married whatshisnose and we know this because God is not mentioned in the book? I'll leave it there.

Things have been slow. We dissected frogs in Life Science but it was not as interesting as it was last year. The kids were not as active with their frogs this year as some of them were last year. Ummm...we had some contests on our floor for the kids to get house points but my blessed homeroom boys won't get involved....it's not out of a bad attitude, it's just not their thing. Linda and I are trying to get them involved somehow we just can't think of anything.

Uhmmmm, thats really it. Sorry it's not as exciting as my posts usualy are. There's just nothing to report. It's spring, everything's slow.

It was a rainy/gloomy day today. I liked it. No electric storm tho....mmmm...any other randomness I can tell you to drag this post out with?

OOH! Got an early birthday boxen!! From Rhonda; CSI:NY season 3 (squeee!!), Shrek 2 and other random fun things. Already gone through all of CSI:NY. Time to start back at the begining.

Something else!! You might be interested in this. It's a blog/writing assignment Jessica has the kids in grade 11 and 12 doing for grammar. They are watching "The Question of God" in class on Mondays (I think) and she's having them...well, you can go look at it and see for yourself.

Ok, I'm really done now.

More New Years Stuff

So in my last post I mentioned the Year of the Ox. In previous posts I've mentioned that I'm a pig/boar as my Chinese Sign. I just found out that there's even more to it. MentalFloss has an interesting article about the general placement of the animals and such. That post begs for more links but I don't have them and they have not provided them. I never knew about the Yin/Yang part of the calendar cycle. I did know about the elements tho (I'm a Water Pig.)

Happy New Year! (almost)

Time for the traditional wishing of the Lunar New Year! We are leaving the Year of the Rat and entering the Year of the Ox so if you are turning a multiple of 12 this year you are an Ox. The actual LNY is Sunday I think, but we have Monday and Tuesday off which makes for a happy me. The teachers actually don't really have plans this year. I'm good with that; I need to clean.

Not too much to report; exams are FINALLY over and graded and all that. The week of exams (second week of Jan) was the coldest week of the year; well below freezing all week, tho not as cold as my parents had it; -25*F!!! The first two days of the week the heat was broken in both my apartment and on the High School floor. The students and teachers wore their jackets and stuff in an attempt to thaw. I would go home and sit in front of my space heater with many clothing layers, blankets and tea and watch movies. I also lived on eggs that week; I had picked some up on the weekend meaning to get more groceries later but it was too cold to go out!! So eggs it was. I'm glad I like eggs. Wednesday the HS was working on Thursday my heat was as well so I was fine. Good thing I don't mind the cold. It had gotten warmer this past week but today it's cold again, but not as bad as it had been.

I made a decision/leap of faith to stay one more year. I do want to see my boys through their last year. They were thrilled. Max suggested that I teach them one class and spend the rest of the day making food for them. I told him Mrs. J might have something to say about that. I think teacher-wise next year's gonna be fun; a friend is most likely going to come teach and she and I will live together if she does. Jessica is staying too which I am happy about. Other than staying for the boys I don't know really how I feel about being here one more year. I mean, something about being here one more year is a little depressing. It's difficult to explain.

OH! I'm down another kilogram! I have a denim jacket that zipped but was a tidge snug; not anymore!!! It's not too big yet but maybe next season...

That's really it. Nothing too exciting. More later maybe after the weekend's over.

Another post with lots of links (9 to be precise)

As previously mentioned I was in Chicago for New Years. It was much fun. I had missed having conversation that was worth having (more on that later). On Friday Rebecca and I went into downtown Chicago and ended up at the Art Institute of Chicago. We just kinda randomly went in and got more culture than we were expecting. Or at least than I was expecting. I had no idea that I was about to see American Gothic, La Grande Jatte, a Jackson Pollock, or Lilies, or VanGogh or his room or other things. It was cool. I like unexpected things like that. I love that Pollock piece. I hate American Gothic. It's depressing.

I got a new CD in Chicago: Casting Crowns Lifesong. I had heard it before but it had been a while. I forgot how much I loved their songs. Especially "While You Were Sleeping", "Praise You in this Storm" and.....ok, I like them all. I need their other CD now. Not their live one. I'm not sure why artists put live songs on CDs, or why they put out live albums. It's annoying. Not that I have an opinion or anything.

The best part about being in Chicago was the talking. Rebecca picked me up and we went to dinner where her boss joined us. We talked for about an hour or even two over some great pizza. The conversation ranged from tattoos to music to drinking to Bibles to mutual friends. Her boss is on the board of BJU and despite what that might make you think he is a very balanced person. I mean, who do you know that would somehow discover who the top CCM artist was and seek to listen to them? Then when we were talking about them (Skillett, whom I have heard of but never heard) there was no "I can't believe a Christian would listen to that." kind of attitude from him. It was a genuine curiosity as to what is so appealing about them (and others like them) to people. After we left Rebecca and I walked to her place (Itasca, the 'burb where she is, is teeny and charming) and continued the conversation until 1:30am. This time we added such things as Eschatology and if the Kingdom of God is on Earth yet or not. There was lots of talk about the baggage that often comes with being in certain sects (for lack of a better term) of Christianity. I hate that where I currently am I am made to feel that such things as my Church attendance, the music standards I have, books I might read and other superficials determine my spirituality. The Bible says you will know me by my fruit and especially by my love. Not by if I drink, read Harry Potter, wear pants to church, listen to various CCM artists or other stupidity. Total tangent: you ever notice that the World does not judge your Christian-ness based on all that but that many Christians in Fundamental circles do? The World does not care if you claim to be a Christian and drink or don't drink. They wanna see you act like it and Christians sadly don't often act like Christians to one another. I'm tired of being judged. It would be nice if more people were like Chuck (Rebecca's boss), when we were talking there were things it was clear he did not agree with us on but you could tell he was not, in his mind, questioning our spirituality, or worse, our salvation.

Anyway, a guy in Rebecca's church had a New Years Eve thing and she and I went. It was lots of fun (2 Baptists, 7 PCA's/4 lawyers, 2 engineers, 1 teacher, 1....I can't remember what he did, and 1 construction project manager). Again, conversation ranged all over; misconceptions we had as kids, things God did for us in the past, things we were hoping for in the future, things pertaining to the South, music, TV, baggage again...I could keep going. There was lots of laughter. Especially as the night wore on. But again, the conversation is what made it great. It was fun yet saddening; I had more/better Christian fellowship in those seven hours than I have had in the last year. I don't fit the prescribed Christian mold here. I do what I am supposed to do contractually but it's hard not being able to be myself and share opinions and thoughts that I know people will disagree with and we can still go away with respect for the other person. And despite the assurances from some that I am never judged there are times when that is certainly not the case.

I just don't know about next year. There is one thing and one thing only keeping me here: these students are my life right now and I can't imagine leaving them. But another year of the above? I don't know if I can do it. There are times I feel as if I'm going to have a break down. Also, to be dead honest, as much as I blow it off I do indeed want to eventually get married and the fact of the matter is: the likely hood of finding someone here is pretty slim at best. (Don't worry, I'm not going to come back to the States just to find a husband. I do want to get married but it's not a priority yet.) Having students ask me on a weekly basis when I'm getting married does not help matters. Don't get me wrong, being single's cool; I doubt I'd be here if I were married and I know I'd not have have some of the opportunities I've had were I married. It's just...

All of this stuff I've given to God. These are just some things that are in my head about all of it. I'm so glad God is in control!!

Ok, wow, this post took a totally different direction than I was originally going. I've never ever posted anything like this I don't think. Whatever, first time for everything.

On Fractals

I'd have a hard time explaining a fractal; the closest I can get is that basically its a pattern that repeats itself in a limited space, getting smaller the more it repeats. But it's so much more than that. Look at wikipedia for a better explanation. I really don't care how you explain them; I love them. There is something about them that draws me into it. It's like I can feel whats going on.

DeviantArt has some great pieces you can get and I really like Nicholas Rougeux's stuff. Some of his stuff almost makes me want to cry. I just wish he'd not put the titles on the works; to me, these speak for themselves. Oh, well, doesn't make them less beautiful. One day I will purchase some of them. When I have money and a place to put it. The latter is more the issue than more than the former is.

A run-down of the loot

From others:
~Lots of money
~ipod nano 4g (green)
~Assortment of clothing
~Books (Lives of the Great Composers and The Time Quartet)
~CD (can't remember)
~Quilt

From self:
~Bones Season 1
~CSI:NY shirt
~Assortment of clothing
~ipod case

A good haul this year.